Sunday, August 15, 2010

Choosing

Hey, Everybody! Many of you already know that my oldest, James came to live with us for a little while at the beginning of the year. He needed to prepare for his military entrance test to get a good score, and also to spend some time with family while he waited for the date to come for him to be sent to boot camp. Now days they only have so many dates in a year and his date is next Sunday. He married while here and leaves for the Army next Sunday.

We have loved on him and made memories, celebrated his successes, his birthday, and watched him get married. We pray and believe this is his vocation, and as such trust that God's equipping and his hard work will cause him to flourish and be a good provider for his bride
That's our oldest. This time last year, our youngest was planning to enlist this year under the Army's delayed entry program. Then life threw him a curve and he saw an old friend, actually the sister of a friend in a new light! When Jason and Becca started picturing their future, it looked like maybe the military would perhaps wait for a couple years, while he worked and she went to college. As the fall approaches though, Jason got itchy feet. Ready to work, sweat, invest in his future for himself and for Becca.




Tuesday morning as I be-bopped around the house content and peaceful, with an eye towards the future, I heard a terrible news story. The Iranians had provocatively announced they have dug mass graves for American soldiers, in case they need them. There were pictures, but, I won't honor them with such attention. It disturbed me, even though, I understand that's the only reason they did it, they WANT us to be disturbed. What REALLY disturbed me was when our youngest, Jason came to me and said, Becca and I have talked and I'm going to enlist with this month, they won't send me until January or later (he turns 18 in January). I'm so excited, ready to do this.

I smiled, and was very quiet. Once we had said all the appropriate things to each other I went to my bedroom and cried and sobbed and sobbed some more! Texted my husband, he called from the school he was in, and then scrubbed all the bathrooms shiny clean!

I kept thinking of how young he was, what I was having to let go of as far as thoughts for the coming year. Did I mention how young he was? I admit to thinking our Commander in Chief was not worthy of our fine young men, but, then I am sure we are not the first to feel that way. And that's not why they serve. As Christians they serve as unto the Lord, or should, and as Americans they serve as unto their country, with honor, pride and love.

I thought of the ugly truth of how surrounded by enemies that America is right now. Never have we been so isolated, so precariously perched. Lord help us. Lord, may we be worthy of Your help.

By the evening I was over my vapors, well and good. I came to realize that this was a new reality, and I will now cry at odd moments when I would never have done so before, and I don't know when that won't be true. But, I am not gloom and doom, it is just a tenderhearted recognition of the reality that life is wild, short and powerful...each moment matters so much, is to be highly valued and treasured. The three main men in life, my husband, and our two sons spent the evening in the living room that night. Father and youngest looking up the appropriate MOSs for Jason to choose from, discussing pros and cons. Oldest son nearby chiming in. I was in the room, but just keeping myself occupied so I would not spoil this important time between them.
We all went to bed happy, hopeful and at peace. With faith for the future that The Lord was and IS indeed at work in and through us. As Jerry and I prepared for bed, he told me that Jason asked him to go to the recruiters with him. This was HUGE for both of them. We both acknowledged the great progress that The Lord had made in a short period of time in us all, because this had been a point of contention this past spring. God is so faithful.

As I went to bed and woke up my mind and heart had a bit of a struggle over whether I would remember that the day Jason told us he was enlisting, was the day the Iranians showed pictures of and announced mass graves for American soldiers, or rather, would I remember that the day Jason told us, he asked his Father to go to the Recruiter's with him and they had a great evening together with James, a night we will always remember. I guess you can see what I have decided to choose by the photos of this year I have shared with you today.

Life as I know it is in the process of an incredible transformation, but that pales in comparison to what life is preparing to do in their lives. As we in our family navigate, I am seeking to keep our eyes and hearts and minds on Jesus. How about you? I am sure many of you are facing uncertainty, challenges. You can CHOOSE what you will focus on. Choose life, not death! God bless!

Much love, Ya'll!

5 comments:

  1. Oh sister. I held my breath literally through this post. My heart was in my gut. I just want us to go out and have a latte together and hug and talk. I am encouraged by your faith. I am encouraged by your wisdom. As I learn more and more all the time to let go of these boys that have become men...I find myself leaning more and more into Jesus. I have a post coming up this week about something I learned from my dad that other day about parenting. It is an ever changing journey of faith.

    I know you are proud. I know I too would have so many emotions swirling about to learn of a decision of this magnitude from one of my sons. Blessings to your family sister. I will be adding your son to my solider list. Love always to you and yours in Christ.

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  2. I can not even imagine...my God knows....ALL. Praying His grace continues to uphold you!

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  3. Goodness girl!
    I hear your heart and I know where the enemy would love to take your thoughts. I am so proud of you. Proud that you let those emotions out...we are believers but we are not emotionally stuffed. And it does my heart good to see how God is holding your mothers heart. God will use your men/boys. And He will guide you in prayer deep in the night....equipping you to surround them with the presence of God's forces.
    Bottom line....sometimes the hardest part is seeing our boys become men.
    Love you girl!

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  4. After reading this post, I re-read the previous one in which you wrote about fathers. Having known W.H., L.H., your father and your husband so well, your current post from your heart about your sons reminds me of the thread that links the men in your (and my) life: which can only be described as chivalry. Today, chivalry is such a maligned term, even as Christianity is becoming. And for good reason. Chivalry is simply the Christian ideal of a man, something that all the men in your life exemplify. G.K. Chesterton remarked on it in The Paradoxes of Christianity, referring to chivalry as Christian courage.
    This is all a rather long-winded way of saying how very proud I am of your sons. They are brave and they are strong and above all, they are truly good.
    Love,
    mama

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  5. Dear, dear, friend, I know you must have so many emotions right now. You have such a beautiful heart and family, and how proud you must be of your son and his love for God and country.

    Still, a mother's heart is so loving and fragile. Yet, you have so much courage, and offer godly words of encouragement to us.

    May Christ be your comfort every moment in your future. When I was a teenager in church choir, we used to sing a chorus that said, "I know not what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future." Those words state our faith, and I pray you will continue to rest in that.

    Much love, prayers, and hugs,

    Andrea

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