Glass Houses and a FULL Heart

Romans 5:8 (The Message) ^"6-8Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him."

I am not only a word girl, I'm a theme girl, patterns, themes, threads, and the like. It's how God speaks to me and teaches me. I am sure I'm not unique in that. Our church family has had a series of messages lately born out of real life experiences living out God's word, in lives of our Pastors and in our congregation.

Through it all, a whisper in our ears is shouting "Love them, love them, love them, like I have loved you! Don't give up, don't be turned off, don't walk away, don't shut the door, don't hang up. have I ever walked away from you? Have I ever turned away from YOU?"

After reading Pam's Face Book post today, and hearing the pastor's message and news today in my home church, I am thrilled to see the Holy Spirit (of course) leading those who are willing to be led all over our country (and I am sure the world as well, it's just the right now, our own country gives me enough to pray about! :) to be willing to engage the messy, the difficult, the unpredictable, the unlovely, the untamed-never gonna be tamed.

Before you say, "Awww, that is good. Jesus loves - so should we." Well yes, true enough. And in theory that is wonderful and pretty. But, in practice - it is messy! People are quirky. I know I am, and I LOVE my family dearly, but each member is quirky, too. And though we all love Jesus in my immediate family, into every life a little mess will come from time to time. Never doubt it!

Jesus' ministry had it's messes, and it certainly was through no fault of His. His family seemed to struggle with their perception of him, having grown up with Him. His disciples, good as they were, jockeyed for position. Judas betrayed Him, and stole from the ministry. His closest ones let Him down in His darkest hour.

Recently the Lord put something in our Pastor's heart, that for the people and the churches who would, there would be great opportunities to reach people. People who are in all different stages, unchurched and unsaved, backslid, offended, dissatisfied...in this world that is ....whooooweeee...under some serious birth pains, people who ARE thirsty for the Living Waters, ARE hungry for the Bread of Life...need to be able to find people who live in glass houses, just like them. They live in glass houses, and they KNOW they live in glass houses and wouldn't throw a stone for anything (or at least it is their heart's desire to not throw stones and they would quickly repent should they stumble). People who not only are aware they are fallen and redeemed Christians, with no claim to fame, except that Christ died and rose again for them and saved them from themselves, and filled their heart's with love. Love that makes them humble (not smug) and not willing that any should perish, for lack of having the opportunity to meet people filled with Christ. If they can't find that in the church - I ask you, where will they go?

In a world that is shaking, can people find some other people who are are grounded in Christ? In a world that is obsessed with fame and superficial relationships, can people find some other people who care what The Lord thinks, much, much more than what man thinks. People who actually, actually listen to the answer of the question "How are you?" and don't try to instantly "fix" them, rather they LISTEN to them, love them and do not serve them platitudes. Sometimes a kind listening heart and a hug and a smile does a heart good!

People who won't whisper, won't roll their eyes. People who at least will be sorry when they do, and say so, and then try, try again to let God's love flow through them to others!

Mercy is messy. Success isn't sanitary. But it IS worth it ALL!

Thanks for letting me share some of my thoughts with you all. I pray your week brings you words from our King! Strength to keep on! Love to overcome and endure! and MUCH Joy!
Maria

1 John 3:2-3 "Beloved, we are [even here and] now God's children; it is not yet disclosed (made clear) what we shall be [hereafter], but we know that when He comes and is manifested, we shall [as God's children] resemble and be like Him, for we shall see Him just as He [really] is. And everyone who has this hope [resting] on Him cleanses (purifies) himself just as He is pure (chaste, undefiled, guiltless).

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1.03.01

Listening, Loving, Believing

I LOVE Photobucket! I'm at a place where I have to choose my words carefully. But, feel the prompting, the nudging, to put my thoughts here today. This picture is titled Solitude. To me it shows the warmth of The Father's glowing, golden love and light for us...coupled with the sometimes occurring lowering, heavy dark clouds. You are not sure if it's your sunny day or not. But, you know He is with you in any event. You can't see much of, or far into, the horizon, But this one thing you hold onto, the horizon may look hidden from you, but, His light, His love, is warmer and more powerful, and reaches further and is positioned BEYOND the horizon and reaches PAST it, and BEYOND you. You are surrounded by His love and His good plans for your life. Like Frodo and Sam, you must keep putting one foot in front of the other, moving forward. Listen to His softly spoken words. Love Him, Thank Him, BELIEVE. Believe that though the way may not be clear, left foot, right foot will get you there, as you trust in His work to be completed in your life.

I am thankful for Photobucket, for the power His warm and golden love in us and for us, for the knowledge and the FACT that though the horizon may be dim and hidden, His loving light knows it and is positioned to illuminate it, at just the proper time! I am thankful for blogging and how writing heals me, strengthens me and begins to cause the horizon to lighten, as it seems to draw some of that golden light through the horizon and to me. I am thankful that my name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. I'm thankful for Grace Alone, where you may go to find many more thanks to comfort you and provide light for your path, or you can add some of your own!

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1.03.01

Choosing

Hey, Everybody! Many of you already know that my oldest, James came to live with us for a little while at the beginning of the year. He needed to prepare for his military entrance test to get a good score, and also to spend some time with family while he waited for the date to come for him to be sent to boot camp. Now days they only have so many dates in a year and his date is next Sunday. He married while here and leaves for the Army next Sunday.

We have loved on him and made memories, celebrated his successes, his birthday, and watched him get married. We pray and believe this is his vocation, and as such trust that God's equipping and his hard work will cause him to flourish and be a good provider for his bride
That's our oldest. This time last year, our youngest was planning to enlist this year under the Army's delayed entry program. Then life threw him a curve and he saw an old friend, actually the sister of a friend in a new light! When Jason and Becca started picturing their future, it looked like maybe the military would perhaps wait for a couple years, while he worked and she went to college. As the fall approaches though, Jason got itchy feet. Ready to work, sweat, invest in his future for himself and for Becca.

Tuesday morning as I be-bopped around the house content and peaceful, with an eye towards the future, I heard a terrible news story. The Iranians had provocatively announced they have dug mass graves for American soldiers, in case they need them. There were pictures, but, I won't honor them with such attention. It disturbed me, even though, I understand that's the only reason they did it, they WANT us to be disturbed. What REALLY disturbed me was when our youngest, Jason came to me and said, Becca and I have talked and I'm going to enlist with this month, they won't send me until January or later (he turns 18 in January). I'm so excited, ready to do this.

I smiled, and was very quiet. Once we had said all the appropriate things to each other I went to my bedroom and cried and sobbed and sobbed some more! Texted my husband, he called from the school he was in, and then scrubbed all the bathrooms shiny clean!

I kept thinking of how young he was, what I was having to let go of as far as thoughts for the coming year. Did I mention how young he was? I admit to thinking our Commander in Chief was not worthy of our fine young men, but, then I am sure we are not the first to feel that way. And that's not why they serve. As Christians they serve as unto the Lord, or should, and as Americans they serve as unto their country, with honor, pride and love.

I thought of the ugly truth of how surrounded by enemies that America is right now. Never have we been so isolated, so precariously perched. Lord help us. Lord, may we be worthy of Your help.

By the evening I was over my vapors, well and good. I came to realize that this was a new reality, and I will now cry at odd moments when I would never have done so before, and I don't know when that won't be true. But, I am not gloom and doom, it is just a tenderhearted recognition of the reality that life is wild, short and powerful...each moment matters so much, is to be highly valued and treasured. The three main men in life, my husband, and our two sons spent the evening in the living room that night. Father and youngest looking up the appropriate MOSs for Jason to choose from, discussing pros and cons. Oldest son nearby chiming in. I was in the room, but just keeping myself occupied so I would not spoil this important time between them.
We all went to bed happy, hopeful and at peace. With faith for the future that The Lord was and IS indeed at work in and through us. As Jerry and I prepared for bed, he told me that Jason asked him to go to the recruiters with him. This was HUGE for both of them. We both acknowledged the great progress that The Lord had made in a short period of time in us all, because this had been a point of contention this past spring. God is so faithful.

As I went to bed and woke up my mind and heart had a bit of a struggle over whether I would remember that the day Jason told us he was enlisting, was the day the Iranians showed pictures of and announced mass graves for American soldiers, or rather, would I remember that the day Jason told us, he asked his Father to go to the Recruiter's with him and they had a great evening together with James, a night we will always remember. I guess you can see what I have decided to choose by the photos of this year I have shared with you today.

Life as I know it is in the process of an incredible transformation, but that pales in comparison to what life is preparing to do in their lives. As we in our family navigate, I am seeking to keep our eyes and hearts and minds on Jesus. How about you? I am sure many of you are facing uncertainty, challenges. You can CHOOSE what you will focus on. Choose life, not death! God bless!

Much love, Ya'll!

One of the Two

Today was and is a special day. Father's Day is a unique time to honor the men who are in our lives, and The Father who made us and gave us eternal life. I am grateful to my GrandDaddy who went home to be with the Lord when I was 17. To his Daddy (my Great GrandDaddy) who died when I was a little girl. To my Daddy, to the father's of two of my best friends. Because they had such a good impact on me. I am IMMENSELY thankful for my husband and the father that he is!

One of the first things I learned as a young Christian, was that our perceptions of God, Our Father, are influenced greatly by our fathers here in life, in the natural. This is an obstacle for many, and that makes me sad. I have to say, it was 1 of my saving graces. Because my Dad, was and is a remarkable man in so many ways. He's a man's man. Guys like working for him, bosses respected him, trusted him, but often didn't "like" him (which is highly overrated by the way, but that's a post for another day!). Bosses knew he was going to say what needed to be said. He was going to stand for what was right, and treat his men at the plant where he worked, the right way, the way he would like to be treated. That doesn't always make you popular with the higher ups! Women always liked him, because he was and is a gentleman, courteous, kind and courtly. Children liked him because he wasn't gruff or scary, always had a smile and a kind word, and he just had a way to make them feel better when he was around.

The qualities I want to focus on here though are his loyalty, integrity and pride (the good kind). My Dad, if he had a fault, it would be his loyalty. Whom he befriends, he sticks with, good times and bad. What he says he will do, he'll do, regardless of the personal cost. And his pride would be that you KNOW this about him, that you can TRUST him to do what he says he will do. Sound familiar? These qualities have made me able to identify with this part of God's character and nature in a way that shapes my worldview and faith. My God is TRULY not a God that He should lie.

The other way today was special was that my dear friend's only sister, my good friend, and the sister-in-law of my Pastor, as well as being the Praise and Worship Pastor of our church family, came to church today. It was her first time in almost a month. One day she was fine, the next day she was dizzy while driving and hit a parked car while trying to park and get her bearings. Rescue wanted her to get checked out, which turned into having an MRI, which turned into a CAT scan (and if I have that backwards, please forgive me). This turned into cutting open her skull and removing a ping pong ball size tumor, not in her brain but just behind her ear towards the crown of her head. Surgery was very successful. Biopsy brought bad news. Glioblastoma. The most aggressive sort of brain cancer. I won't type the words of what that diagnosis means in the natural, scientifically. You can Google it.

She came and it was so good to see her and at the same time made your heart contract. How can someone who was the picture of health all the way to the 31st of May, by the 2nd of June have something go terribly awry?

After a great Father's Day service, Pastor let Owana come up to speak to us. Her husband gently and carefully led her up on the platform. She carefully spoke, and it hurt to hear how difficult it was for her to speak to us. But what she had to say...priceless. All glory to God. She led with the fact that she was glad that she was already a worshipper before she got sick, because she can honestly say and we know it's true, that she doesn't just worship to get well, She worships Him because He is Worthy! She said a few other things, very powerful. She even made us laugh (which is typical) but, mostly we cried and Amened. And at the end she turned to her daughter (who led worship today, and was on the piano) "Can you give me an 'F"?" and she actually opened her mouth and sang (beautifully, it was easier for her to sing than speak it sounded like - just shows her gift!) leading us in worship, in the song that she has always said this as a description of herself. "I vow to worship, through the good and the bad, I vow to worship, whether happy or sad. I vow to worship in all that we go through, Because praise is what I do, and I owe it all to You."

During service (I had hugged her before service) I would have periods during Praise and Worship where I was strong in faith and periods where I would just take the hurt and the pain of seeing the conditions she struggles with, I would take that to God and remind Him that I do trust Him, He is able. And He is willing. But my dilema was "Lord, it 's so much, it's so big, the statistics are awful. She's so fragile right now." Just being honest, Ya'll. All in my head, would never have spoken it out loud.

On the way home, as Jason drove, I thought to the Lord, in my mind about all this. What to take away from what we had just been privelged to witness. Here is what I felt the Lord impressing me with. The story of the 12 spies. They were honored, privleged to go scout out the Promised Land. However, 10 of them came back with an evil report. Rather than believe their Mighty God to make good on His Word, to give them that PROMISED LAND, and give them the victory over the enemy there, they chose instead to believe the giants were too big for them, and the walled cities too much. I received what He put in my spirit right away and without question. My response was and is, "Lord, let me always be 1 of those 2 spies, that believe You for the victory, for the Promised Land, for the enemy driven out! For Family Worship Center, the enemy is Glioblastoma, the Promised Land is Owana whole, healthy and leading us in Praise and Worship, and we willl already never be the same again."

"And Caleb stilled the people before Moses, and said "Let us go up at once, and possess it, for we are WEll ABLE TO OVERCOME IT." Numbers 13:30

I know what you are probably thinking, "But, Maria, sometimes God's plan doesn't mean recovery, sometimes at least not full recovery, in any case, He is good always, healing or no." and to that I would say, God IS ALWAYS GOOD. Always. I just know that it is a matter of honor to Him for me to believe Him for the whole thing and love Him no matter the outcome, that's why it's called FAITH! The phrase He has put in my spirit and DARED me to believe Him for is "In it to Win it". That's all I will believe for, why insult Him with anything less than who He has shown Himself to be to me? I already know that the outcome will be more beautiful and unfathomable than anything I could imagine or picture, so I am just believing Him for the best, our Promised Land, Owana healthy and whole!

Happy Father's Day, Ya'll!

Vengence - Why it Belongs to Him!

We all know the scripture, it is quoted by nonbelievers and believers alike. It is distorted and used as a hammer to bludgeon people into all sorts of emotional distress, but in it's true clear form, it is such a beautiful and promising assurance from Our God to us. "¹⁹ Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." Romans 12:19 and in case "give place unto wrath" is confusing (as it was to me) the Amplified says that portion this way "but leave the way open for God's wrath".

A short span of time (maybe 4 - 5 weeks) ago this topic of Vengeance was laid on my heart, and I felt the Lord teaching in a clear, concise manner. I felt it was for this audience, and today I feel is the day. I pray I obediently deliver the message and that it will be helpful to all of us!

I always "got" that vengeance is tempting to our humanity, our flesh, our fallen nature. I also "got" that when we take it into our own hands, we take it OUT OF His hands. What a shame. Understandable, we all succumb from time to time. But His ways, they are oh so much higher! When we can do it His way, Much unbelievable sweet fruit is harvested. It requires us to sow mercy, sow faith, and then we do in fact reap! What sweet fruit!

The thoughts were something like this. "Why is vengeance mine?", says the Holy Spirit in my mind to me. My answer "Well, because You are God! You are Supreme! You ARE The Creator, how could the creature have the last word? Not possible!" And the line of thought continued as the realization occurred to me, that satan will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER have the last word in our lives or our loved ones, as we stand in the gap for them! satan tries, like he did with Job, and Viola', God allows the trial because it suits His purpose to develop Job's character so that Job could be entrusted with even more blessing and honor and it brought Job to know himself and God intimately and thrillingly! So vengeance was God's! His vengeance upon satan for bringing bad time to Job!

Ok, you say that was satan, how about when it is people (of course never forgetting that we are all under the influence, at every given moment, either by the Holy Spirit or by satan. Should you doubt me, remember when Peter chastised Jesus, as He spoke of His impending crucifixion. Jesus spoke without hesitation, directly to satan, who was at that moment influencing and speaking through Peter!)?

People doing us wrong, how about Lot? God had so blessed Lot through Abraham. Now it was time for them to part company. Lot selfishly gazed out at the property, picked the choicest piece, and said "There! That's what I will take!". Abraham graciously gave him the best And that gracious, humble attitude of faith, of fully relying in God, made a way for God to entrust Abraham with even more blessing, once again. The choices Lot would go on to make took him further and further outside of the blessing of the Lord. But, Abraham always chose closer to God. And he was blessed beyond measure because of it. God had vengeance, He had the last word. We are His. Period. The.End. No One else is going to have the ultimate upper hand in our life. Bank on it!

In the last few weeks some incredible circumstances played out that I could never ever planned, thought of, imagined or in any way set up. These circumstances started to occur to me in just the last few days as a terrific, mind boggling example that whether the enemy outright or people under His influence, (even if the are close to you in your family like Lot, or in your place of work or worship) come against you, or hurt your loved ones, as devastating, as hurtful, as unfair, as much as people either don't know, or recognize, or know how to intervene to help, God sees it, He sees it ALL He sees it and He doesn't forget. He has a purpose and it IS ONLY for your GOOD! Only God, Only God, Only God, could orchestrate the beautiful symphony of your or your family's life!

In 2007 through 2008 a series of events happened to bring hurt and injustice to both my husband and my youngest son. The events were in no way related, they were each in their own journey. I was merely a bystander in the train wrecks of each of the events. Oh! The pain, the flesh it brought to life in me! The one thing they had in common was that it all involved people from our much beloved church. Sometime last year we all began healing and moving forward, and drawing near to God and submitting in every way possible. Those circumstances made me feel PRESSURED to speak out, speak up and/or leave...but I had NO PEACE and I did neither. Thank Goodness that Our Shepherd knows us and knows how to lead us! Over the past few months I have witnessed The Lord move blessing, favor and just His unspeakable goodness upon those two men I love. It makes no sense, except to say that He KNEW what they needed, what we all needed for the Next level He was bringing us to! Everything that was taken away (seemingly), was restored with extra goodness! Extra sweetness!

I HOPE that in time to come, or if you right now, find yourself smack dab in the middle of such hurtful circumstances, you will hold on to hope! Hold on To Christ! Trust Him to Avenge you! The old saying IS true! Vengeance is sweet, but ONLY if it's in the hands of Jesus!

His favor is LIFE! Weeping may endure for a night, but JOY comes in the morning!

I am missing all my bloggy friends! I have pretty much only been able to Face Book lately, because I can do it quickly and even from my phone. Trying to adjust to the constantly evolving cleaning schedule. And having James home has added entertaining every weekend so far. Not done yet. Not to mention the difference working is to me at this age. I am very tired, but happy, so I am not complaining. I have SOOO many things I want to talk about...like how at the beginning of the year, as we finished the holidays, the Resurrection was impressed on me as something to focus on and appreciate over the coming year. How in Christianity we live to die or actually, better put; we DIE to LIVE! more on that very soon I hope, feel free to ponder!

This is just to show you my weapon I wield against dirty floors where ever I go! :) Mr Clean has a terrific Febreeze scented solution that is fabulous to mop floors with or wipe down baseboards or walls!

Having a hard time with my Bible studies, it is more of a hit and run right now. But, I make sure to get some fresh manna everyday, even IF it's not all I would like and all that I crave. And now that I am becoming more comfortable in what I am doing I am able to remember to pray more while I am working and for people or businesses that I clean for.

I am astounded at the people that the Lord is gracious enough to put in my path to listen to, they just come and talk to me while I clean. And as they do, I just think to myself "Oh Lord, You have blessed me again! Help me! Help me to listen well and speak timely to them."

AND Jason works with me on some of the jobs, and he is doing very well. We got a call today that our boss has decided to give us $1 per hour raises effective 01 March, followed by another $1 per hour raise effective 01 June! Hallelujah! God is sooooo GOOD!

Well my eyes are pooping out on me, and I want to come visit as little bit, so this is me wrapping up! I love you guys and am praying for you!

"Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God always on your behalf, for the grace of God which is given you by Jesus Christ; That in every thing ye are enriched by him, in all utterance, and in all knowledge;" (1 Corinthians 1:3-5, King James Version)

Revoked, Gathering, Restoring, Enjoying aaaaaannnd WORKING!

This picture has absolutely nothing to do with anything! I just found it while doing my last post, and just loved it!

Just want to drop my friends a few lines. It's busy right now. But, aren't we all? :) Yay! The very last Sunday in November, during a really powerful praise and worship time in service, I felt impressed with the word revoked. It was a strong impression as in the following, which I have turned into a prayer and confession, because I felt led to come into agreement with The Lord on this season we had entered into, and I feel, still are in. "I Thank You so much Lord, that You have revoked any permission the enemy thought he had at this time to trial and to test Your people. I Thank You that this is a season You have appointed for gathering and for restoration!"

I was reminded of it today, and felt I should share it with you all. As I look back I can see places in motion and already realized which reflect this in my life and the lives of those around me. As your faith leads.

Other than that, we are real busy walking out somethings that we have believed for ,for quite a while, and more things ahead, and trying to navigate the whole thing with our bearings straight and focus maintained. Answers often don't come looking like we think they should! Of course, how would we know what they should look like, when we often pray for what we don't have or haven't seen!

Some updates on our "Gathering" - Two great women, friends of mine from church started a cleaning company Dec 2008. I was so happy for them and prayed for their success. They really were successful. I started working for them a week before this past Christmas and my son the week after Christmas. It has been different but, good, and very much a blessing and the right thing at the right time for all of us. Then Friday night, those same two women have realized they have different visions. They've split the company, which makes me sad. But, it is a peaceful split and we at this time, work for both of them. I see some things on the horizon which I am keeping in prayer. Any prayers you feel like throwing our way is also greatly appreciated!

My husband is in the last stages of a VERY intensive Captains (like Gilligin's Island!) course, test Sunday. This is something he has wanted and been scheduled for at various times over the last almost 3 years! The enemy thought he could rob us, but he couldn't! God said different! ;)

AND, our two sons....the oldest is coming here to live for a few weeks. He wants to concentrate on getting his math skills up in prep for a critical test for getting into the military. We will probably be getting some tutoring for him and having a few family gatherings as he expects to get his skills down, and pass the test and enlist and leave. In pretty short order. And getting married in there some place before leaving. More prayers. The youngest is absolutely pining to get his skills in order, so he can enlist. Yes, it is entirely possible that sometime next year, both our sons will be so far I can't see them, visit them or touch them. But, I remember praying things for them over the years that I believe this is a possible manifestation of. Who knows? God does! He keeps us, and I am so grateful! Ours is to pray, believe work and grow and eventually we begin to end up where He has appointed us all along!

Sometime next week Jerry's schedule will go back to normal and I will be able to write more than this rambling post! By the way, I get so much comfort from my friends in Christ on here, you have no idea! God bless and much love!

Steps, Steps, Waiting and Mysteries!

So many things to share, but the Lord orders our steps, Amen? For quite a while it was looking pretty obvious something needed to change in our finances, and to change in a successful manner...that's the tricky part because there were a lot of almost successes that just never got off the ground. AND even more intriguing (in retrospect, not during the torment of waiting) was the waiting, the delays, the TORMENT of celebration, and thinking we had attained the goal of our faith, only to find out...nope...not yet. DELAYS.

God knows us best, and He knew we were all very comfortable and use to me being at home much of the time. He KNEW we weren't use to or ready for the invasion of employment, where you surrender your plans to the work schedule. So He prepared us over a period of time, and circumstances. From July until the week before Christmas it was a dance of finding the right job for me and for our family and for our unique transportation circumstances. It was: "I have one, no I don't, I have one, no I don't, I have one, no I don't". (don't ask - not worth going into, and was OOOOOOOHHH so VERY trying!) Not to be lost in all this was a similar dance with my husband's situation in his career. A special position was being crafted to fill a need for our community, that he was uniquely qualified and favored to fill. A true blessing of God. The path this blessing took paralleled my part time employment path, along with waiting, celebrations, delays, and MORE WAITING! :)

It was so obviously spiritual in nature -this path we were on. And I was one UNgracious waiter, let me tell you. I was by turns happy, distraught, ready to fight, but not knowing who, quietly waiting and then over time I turned more dociley into the arms of the Lord and as I did I was encouraged that though I didn't understand, my job was to be thankful, praise Him, and BELIEVE, ONLY BELIEVE, and always in every way DELIGHT myself in Him. Waiting from July to December wouldn't seem like so long, but you can go back to April, in 2008 when Hubs broke his arm, and see the path we were on, which led us to this very trying time. Really, everything was in the making and in progress for this crazy waiting period, and just culminated in the past 6 months. Chinese Water Torture...that's the phrase that comes to mind.

What I left out of my yo-yo emotions was cynicism, bitterness, and just a general wonder at who I was feeling and sounding like at times. Did I mention this WAS during the time of my youngest son being out of church for 1 year and 2 weeks? Did I mention that this was during the time of...well you get the picture...we all have our circumstances that we live through and by the Gentle and Merciful Grace of God we Overcome, We are Refined, We are made to shine, because there is now much more of Him in us!

In every dilemma we faced, The Lord FAITHFULLY provided. We never went under, we might have struggled to believe we would make it. Sure. Was it always pleasant? Heck no. Did I have to learn to be assertive to the little nagging voice in my head? Yes I did. Come worrisome thoughts, then would come a song out my mouth praising God. I didn't have to feel it, ONLY BELIEVE. Believe in Him, Believe in Jesus as my covering, as my sufficiency, our Champion, KNOW that He was up to and is ALWAYS up to good on our behalf!

As my focus improved, my outlook (imagine that) improved. When I spent more time looking at Jesus, thinking on Him, and less time making lists of things we needed to do, and possible solutions, day by day the answers came. Not in my time. But, in His time! And guess what? His timing really WAS perfect! :)

Today as I write this, I am aware that He taught me things I couldn't have LEARNED, truly LEARNED any other way than in the mystery of waiting. NO ONE can take away what He has taught me, and my family during this time. We actually lived through a brief period of my husband and son having more hope and sunnier faith than me! It was good for us all, and prepared us for this season. I pray that I won't forget these things. Some treasures I learned I am more adept at walking out than others, but I also know that I am weak and He is strong and I might yet need reminding.

Today, all the things we were waiting for have come to fulfillment, plus more besides, and there is a growing sense that this is only the smaller half of it!

Somethings I know today: 1) The Lord IS my Shepherd and most importantly to my mother's heart - my sons' Shepherd. He will NOT fail to Shepherd my sons. 2) The Lord is our Provider. Not our employers. Not overtime. Not anything or anyone. Just Him. 3) Our employment is about where He needs us to be for a purpose and a period of time. 4) FOCUS on Jesus! Remember Peter? His desire wasn't to walk on water - it was to be with Jesus! 5) Praise Him! Thank Him! Always! Every day!

I just wanted to testify a little about my absences over the past year, so you could see into our lives a little, and I hope, be encouraged. He will never, never fail you!

Decree a Thing!

"If you lay gold in the dust, and the gold of Ophir among the stones of the brook [considering them of little worth],

And make the Almighty your gold and [the Lord] your precious silver treasure,

Then you will have delight in the Almighty, and you will lift up your face to God.

You will make your prayer to Him, and He will hear you, and you will pay your vows.

You shall also decide and decree a thing, and it shall be established for you; and the light [of God's favor] shall shine upon your ways.

When they make [you] low, you will say, [There is] a lifting up; and the humble person He lifts up and saves.

He will even deliver the one [for whom you intercede] who is not innocent; yes, he will be delivered through the cleanness of your hands." Job 22:26-30

You know, I was turning myself inside out, weaving ALL kinds of scripture to back something up that, once I took a little time away from it to get dinner, I realized I just needed to let God's Word tell the truth simply. Let the truth and the power in the scripture above soak in, read it, and read it, and read again, say it out loud, mark it in your Bibles.

Our Father Who art in Heaven, THY Kingdom come, THY Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. His will is GOOD. We need to be saturated in the knowledge of His will. To do that we must DELIGHT ourselves in Him, and one way we do that is to commune with Him in His Word. And practicing His presence, praising Him, worshiping Him, Thanking Him! The trying times that we have train us to turn to Him, trust in Him, Him alone, rejoice in Him. For many of us, 2009 has been a whole lot of that putting whatever our gold is down, and delighting in Him. NOW, He is leading us, calling us, instructing us to DECIDE and DECREE a THING and it SHALL BE established to you! Make your prayer known to Him for the coming year, and even include those in your realm of responsibility that He has entrusted to your intercessory care. Be it spouse, or son, or daughter-in-law, or sister, or niece. Pray His goodness into their lives, pray tenderness into their hearts. Bind the enemy from stopping their ears. Ask for the Holy Spirit to stir the hearts to seek the Lord while He may yet be found!

I believe with everything in me, He wants all who will, all who are inclined to take Him at His Word! Delight in Him and Pray, Decide and Decree and it shall be established! Take authority over your garden patch!

Clock's ticking! It's almost 2010! Decide and Decree!

Decree -

1.	a formal and authoritative order, esp. one having the force of law: a presidential decree.

2.	Law. a judicial decision or order.

3.	Theology. one of the eternal purposes of God, by which events are foreordained.

4.	to command, ordain, or decide by decree.

^"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]." Proverbs 18:21

The End of a Thing is BETTER than the Beginning!

^"11So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
¹²For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
¹³Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the LORD for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off. (Isaiah 55:11-13, King James Version)"

2009. Mmmhmmmhmmhmm. It's been a year. Not all, but many people that I know have been going through some paring down, some pruning, some refining. Yeah. Been going on in my house fo' sho'! Look around you at current events and think back over the past year's news stories. Companies, local governments, families, schools, hospitals all cutting back, streamlining, more carefully targeting growth. How about whole family's investments being lost in ponzi schemes (like Madoff). Not fair. Not just. Unexpected. No going back. How about the people of the local government in Indiana (I believe that was the state) who the court system broke the rules of law in order to accommodate the Obama Administration's desire to have an automobile company go through bankruptcy without honoring the hierarchy the law requires for secured creditors to be honored first. Their retirement gone - kaput. Vamoose. God doesn't like it when court systems are unjust. Read through Proverbs, Isaiah, Jeremiah, etc. Not. At. All.

I could go on to say that the current Administration, and both Houses of Congress, they're probably all I know of not feeling pain this year. They are on the upswing....or so it would seem!

In my own family there were challenges in so many fronts. And the Lord faithfully kept us, taught us, healed us, provided for us, sustained us, covered us throughout it all! During all of it I felt He wanted me to Know, wanted us to know - He was our Church, He was our provision, He was our friend, He was our covering. That He does NOT have LIMITS! You name it, He was IT!

Me personally? He kindly let me recognize hardheadedness, pride, grudging on behalf of my family members, weird complacency where I should not be complacent.

I mentioned all these woes and troubles, to say that God has been bringing it to my attention that not ONLY have all these things been for our good, that we would wake up, that we would seek Him, that we truly, in every way which we can at this point, see Him as our provision, not our jobs - they are just a tool in His hand, not our stock, they are just a tool in His hand. He puts one tool down and picks up a new one, who are we to say otherwise? We go where He goes, we stay where He stays, and so on. Not only were these experiences and trials for our good, BUT, I feel in my heart the Lord pointing out and wanting me to see and ACKNOWLEDGE, REJOICE, RELISH how much we are better off for what we have learned, how much more rooted in Him, how much more trained to look to Him and Him alone, how much more ready and likely to praise in the midst of panic and watch an opening for Grace to move in. Important to recognize that as we say good bye to 2009, we leave it stronger in the Lord and the power of His might, in joy, in hope, in great expectation, in stability.

Only a stable foundation can be built on and remain strong, steadfast. I remember when I first found out that if a building is not built strong enough for the later second story to be added, it sometimes isn't possible, and if done requires MUCH renovation. He has been preparing us for things, opportunities, great feats, relationships, authority, prosperity, things that would have been harmful to us, caused collapse, if we had not undergone these experiences which have pressed us and caused us to KNOW His goodness towards us, KNOW His faithfulness. We have been going through PREPARATION! Makes me giddy!

"Better is the end of a thing, than the beginning of it," Ecclesiastes 7:8

And knowing that, I have recognized we have an obligation to speak into the upcoming New Year. Post coming tomorrow about that!

Wise Men (and Women!) STILL seek Him!!

My oldest had a favorite thing to do at home with his father and I. He would hide. I think most children do. He did this A LOT! He scared me a bit, because I was concerned - were we paying enough attention? What if he got lost? I was a very young and inexperienced mother and spent much more time worrying than praying in his earliest years, and I grew as he grew. It turns out that he just LOVED to be found! He got such a satisfaction in the adventure of "hiding" and "seeking"! And the intimacy associated with us being in on the secret of his location! I do believe he liked knowing he mattered enough for us to seek after him. It's important to note that his goal was not to prevent us from finding him. The goal was 1) to be sought after, and then 2) to be FOUND!

The past few days I have been reminded through scriptures, that when we seek Him for knowledge, wisdom, truth, providence, direction, courage - He ALWAYS answers. We show our humility in seeking Him, and our desire for Him and His ways, and our faith in Him. In Daniel 2, Daniel didn't just quietly accept the execution order for all the wise men in the kingdom, he SOUGHT a reason why from the guard, and he received an answer. Then Daniel sought agreement and strength in his prayer partners in verses 17, 18. Here's an excerpt "So that they would desire and request mercy of The God of Heaven concerning this secret, that Daniel and his companions should not perish with the rest of the wise men of Babylon." Verse 19 is the answer! "Then the secret was revealed to Daniel in a vision of the night, and Daniel blessed The God of Heaven". (there's that THANKSGIVING again!).

This same pattern occurs in Matthew 2. The Wise Men are seeking Jesus, following the star to His location. As it came time to leave, the Amplified Bible tells us in verse 12 "And receiving an answer to their asking, they were divinely instructed and warned in a dream not to go back to Herod...". They sought Jesus, and they found Him. They sought direction, they received direction!

Every day for the past few months I have been making a prayer of a verse in Psalms "Show me Your ways Oh Lord, Teach me Your Paths". Because I am learning how very futile my thoughts and knowledge are, on my own. Truly, in every way, in the large and the small, the grand and the minute, I am needful of His grace, His light, His strength, His peace, His provision. Out of all these if I had to pick one - His light or direction/knowledge is one of the most valuable to me. Because without His light, I risk wasting, or misappropriating His rich blessings to me.

This week as I have been letting the beauty of the TRUE Christmas Story come to life and to light in me, I keep coming across this theme. The theme of seeking Him, the pattern of the Wise Men, back in Daniel's day and in the time of Jesus birth, as well as the BENEFITS of seeking Him! The fact that it pleases Him that we seek Him! I want to be that Wise woman! I want my husband and sons, one day my daughters-in-law, all my nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, parents and friends to have the wisdom and joy that comes from SEEKING Him always!

Listen to what Daniel said of our God, after the secret was revealed to him. "Blessed be the name of God forever and ever! For wisdom and might are His! He changes the times and the seasons; He removes kings and sets up kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding! He reveals the deep and secret things; He knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with Him!"

May we ever seek Him and reap the rewards in living with knowledge necessary in these challenging times, which job to take, which one to pass on, which path of education to steer our child(ren) to and through? What to do with retirement stocks? Keep investing? move to something stable? What is stable now? Should I start that new class? Why are we still dealing with this? HE has the answers! He leads us by peace, day at a time!

A God of His Word - Words in red - Matthew 7:7 Amplified: "Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking (reverently) and (the door) will be opened to you."

Seek
1. to go in search or quest of: to seek the truth.
2. to try to find or discover by searching or questioning: to seek the solution to a problem.
3. to try to obtain: to seek fame.
4. to try or attempt (usually fol. by an infinitive): to seek to convince a person.
5. to go to: to seek a place to rest.
6. to ask for; request: to seek advice.
7. Archaic. to search or explore

"The path of the just is as the shining light, that shines more and more unto the perfect day" Proverbs 4:18

Merry Christmas! Much love, ya'll! Maria

The Gate Called BEAUTIFUL!!

"Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man whom You choose and cause to come near, that he may dwell in Your courts! We shall be satisfied with the goodness of Your house, Your holy temple." Psalm 65:4 Amplified (turning up the volume of the original KJV)

So many thoughts, so little time to choose and order them...trusting The Lord to order my steps (thoughts and words in this instance!). This year had some tough challenges and it wasn't pretty or comfy as we went through pruning and refining! The season seems to be changing! Fruit is popping up and it IS indeed luscious! But in the hardest, darkest times the golden thread that I would grab hold of from time to time was Thanksgiving or Giving Thanks...I'd like to say that I "clung" to it...that sounds so much more appealing to our Christian sensibilities. However, the truth is what will set you free! I most certainly did not cling to this truth, but God, Who is rich in His mercy, kept helping me to catch sight of the golden thread and when I did glimpse it, I indeed grabbed it...would indeed be refreshed for a while, and then as the dreary clouds would encroach again, I would then drop it and amble on the path weary and slowly, not having the means or the clear direction where to travel, just one day at a time.

As I took those steps day at a time, more light came and more revelation of the power of Thanksgiving and the purpose and power of Praise. I PRAY I never forget, never weaken in my resolve to continually let Thanksgiving pour forth, and when it doesn't want to pour, that I will shake my vessel and tip it on its head if I have to, in order to pour some out.

Do you have some places in His Word, that draw you, but you don't have full revelation of them, and probably never will. But you love to look at them, to think on them, ponder and mull, and let Him over time give you a little puzzle piece here and there? One such place for me is Acts 3.

"And a certain man lame from his mother's womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to ask alms of them that entered into the temple;" Acts 3:2 KJV

I encourage you to read verses 1-10 by clicking here, then come back! :)

The name of the gate...has always beckoned and always will beckon me. Inviting me to know Him more fully. Jesus said "I am The Way and The Truth and The Life No one comes to the Father except through me.". This one time, poor, lame man in Acts 3 was lame "from his mother's womb" JUST LIKE US! due to our sin nature. He was invited in by Peter, as we are to "In the Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, Rise up and walk !", enter into the gate, the gate which is called Beautiful! He went leaping and praising, and I would imagine making a bit of noise as he went into the temple, through the gate which is called Beautiful!

The simple elegant golden strand which the Good Lord repeatedly put in my path to hang onto was just this, thank me that your name and those of your husband and your sons, and all that you are thankful for, that their names are written in The Lambs Book of Life. Out loud. So I would, as I performed the routine tasks in a cloud of pain, disillusionment and confusion, I would state my gratitude that indeed my name is written in The Lamb's Book of Life, my husband's name is written in The Lamb's Book of Life, my son James, my son Jason, I am so blessed that their names are written in The Lamb's Book of Life. More and more I would do this, and every time it was like walking on a bridge to a place where I would find JOY waiting for me! I would be refreshed and continue on the good fight of faith! I just realized yesterday that that truth, that mercy that the Lord showed me, was very crucial to where I am, where I will stay "Psalm 23 "...and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever."! Where I will bring it with me wherever I go!

Psalm 100 again: "Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful to Him, and bless His Name.". Yes, there are still and always be challenges, but I have more tools, more revelation, I can fight smarter, and I KNOW Him more fully, which gives me rest! Blessed indeed "is the man You choose and cause to come near, that he may dwell in Your courts."

MUCH!

There is congestion in my mind, too many things want to come out at once! I did want to drop in and say a quick hello. I pray all is well with you all!

I have been much stirred in my heart about what is afoot in our country. There are so many bills in various stages of being passed that it boggles the mind. There are at least 6 that will either likely or potentially will greatly impact our country through violating the Constitution, curtailing our God given freedoms. Expect that will be a post within the next day or so. A list. Since MSM doesn't tell the things we need to know, if you don't aggressively seek out news on-line, and listen to FOX News sometimes, you won't know what you have lost until too late.

My Mama and I have been having conversations since last fall about the spiritual state of our Nation and the Church at large. We have felt a tremendous need to pray for an Awakening of our Nation. Interestingly, back in March I happened to catch some dear ladies on a Bible teaching show (TV) sharing how God had impressed one of them back in their home church/prayer group (back in June last year - in the midst of the LONGEST election ever!) that the "election would not save America, but that an Awakening would" in other words. Pray for America to awaken. They explained the differences between revival and awakening and gave illustrations through history. Oh, it was sooo exhilarating to hear what your heart was already telling you, backed up with historical supporting facts!

And may I say if you have ever had to awaken someone who was sluggish, and slow to respond, it is not pleasant. I have not had much experience with this, because we all wake up promptly around here (Thank you, Lord!) but, I have had a couple of friends struggle with family members who suffer this lethargy, it is NOT fun to struggle to wake-up sleepy heads.

America is a great big distracted, comfortable, self righteous sleepy head. I love my country. And because I love my country, I am VERY concerned. I am also concerned that the Church wake-up. If we really truly engage and are the salt and the light, we should dare, we should tred, we should be exceedingly uncomfortable at times, yet ALWAYS in grace, always in faith.

I am a bit bothered that so many wonderful Christian people are quietly going about their lives knowing that they have voted and that God's Word has indeed told us that it would be like this one day, sort feeling that they must leave the rest to see what the future brings. I find myself in this regard to have reached my Martha zenith! ;) In my life with Christ I have always felt much more like Mary. Now I get to know what Martha felt like! While I know my approach is not perfect (of course) I do trust that God will continue to lead and guide me each day to do what I can to encourage others (that's my gift - I reckon - don't see much sign of anything else!) (well except hospitality) who are trying to make a difference, to pray, and to write, shine the spotlight, make phone calls or whatever else I can do to sound the alarm that America is somewhat on fire. We might want to wake-up.

I was led to spend the last 5 days on household matters, with family and with the Lord just in the quiet moments - which for me means I am not chatting so much on-line. Maybe observing a bit, but, that's about it. In the stillness of my heart the Lord was so good to me to refresh, and encourage me, as well as confirming and clarifying somethings for me. You ever notice that in the Old Testament that when Godly people cried out to God in the Psalms or just about any other book, it was often about either the wickedness of their Nation, or the results that the wickedness had wrought in their Nation. God was not separated from their political life, He WAS their life. How the Nation lived before God, impacted all, and there were Godly people who were NOT content to be passive about it.

In the past few years my life of faith (which I find should be somewhat messy) required trusting God daily for sustenance in many ways familiar to you my friends in Christ. As a former career woman, turned part-time clerical worker and home school mom, we had many financial challenges. As a parent of a child gone wild for a period of time - we had many reasons to trust God for his care daily. As a home school mom period, I had many reasons to trust God daily. There are many other things I could list, but I find that I STILL trust the Lord DAILY in these matters and yet, He is hinting at a further growth and likely discomfort. To trust Him as I stand up and speak up when I would many times prefer not to. Prefer to stay in my cocoon. And just like as a home school mother and as a part time (and then 100% sahm) I often struggled feeling that my contribution was not sufficient. The Lord always, always added His grace to it. He MADE it sufficient! And now as I feel what small pip-squeak voice I can add is seemingly insignificant, I find that the Lord seems to say, "use it for My purpose, my glory and trust me for the results".

I will close with the parable of the Good Samaritan as I was impressed to study it a bit this weekend. I feel that America is the neighbor. I want to be the Samaritan. but we need LOTS of neighbors! Luke 10:26-37

"26 Jesus said to him, What is written in the Law? How do you read it?

²⁷And he replied, You must love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.

²⁸And Jesus said to him, You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live [enjoy active, blessed, endless life in the kingdom of God].

²⁹And he, determined to acquit himself of reproach, said to Jesus, And who is my neighbor?

³⁰Jesus,taking him up, replied, A certain man was going from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him of his clothes and belongings and beat him and went their way, [unconcernedly] leaving him half dead, as it happened.

³¹Now by coincidence a certain priest was going down along that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

³²A Levite likewise came down to the place and saw him, and passed by on the other side [of the road].

³³But a certain Samaritan, as he traveled along, came down to where he was; and when he saw him, he was moved with pity and sympathy [for him],

³⁴And went to him and dressed his wounds, pouring on [them] oil and wine. Then he set him on his own beast and brought him to an inn and took care of him.

³⁵And the next day he took out two denarii [two day's wages] and gave [them] to the innkeeper, saying, Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, I [myself] will repay you when I return.

³⁶Which of these three do you think proved himself a neighbor to him who fell among the robbers?

³⁷He answered, The one who showed pity and mercy to him. And Jesus said to him, Go and do likewise."

Thanks for dropping and and listening to me ramble! You are kind to indulge me! Much love! Maria

Faith Outside the Box

Greetings! I pray all is well with you, and that no matter where today finds you that your hope is in The One who redeems, sustains and upholds us, the only Christ the King!

I have a confession to make. I am passionate about political issues. It's funny, the world does not like us to be passionate about our faith. Too bad. It's essence of who we are and why we are here in the first place to grow and develop as we learn of Our Lord. But the Church nor the world really cares for people who are passionate about political issues.

I was raised to be passionate about both, though I did not and have not always done so. It's been a process for me. Doing without Christ drove me to Christ. Then as I grew and life moved forward, I happened to begin homeschooling 6 months prior to September 11 2001. Studying history with biblical perspective was such an eye opener and a gift to us. It gave rich perspective to the history making times we were living in.

I won't take you through the blow by blow here, because really, who cares? Suffice it to say that something happened last August which made me unable or unwilling to compartmentalize my life from faith and politics (twin passions). It began to seem that to live my faith I must apply myself to day by day, in whatever ways I can find appropriate for my family apply my efforts to keeping myself aware, finding ways to encourage and inform those around me (family) and friends on the 'net. When opportunity presents to do more (donate, make calls, sign petitions, etc) do so. And always, and in all things pray and give thanks!

It's tempting to say forget it, my efforts are inconsequential and politics attracts so many "me-me-me people" (yuk factor). But, my conscience won't let me turn away. Until I am led in a new direction I better run with determination the road set before me.

I finally made peace with this transition during the last few days. I am hoping that I can keep two blogs going by posting and cross posting from time to time. I haven't been doing much of either because I have been struggling with what strange thing was happening to me. My faith and family and relationship with the Lord was just as strong as always, but I struggled with why was I so driven to political things.

Finally, I just relaxed and had PEACE! It's OK to be who He made me! I can TRUST Him! How novel! ;) He gives us GOOD gifts for His glory and His purpose! Who am I to kick against the pricks!?!

Yesterday there was a successful (well behaved, highly motivated and about 300+ btwn hours of 12:00 5:00) Tea Party in my hometown of St Augustine. I chose to go to next door Jacksonville (4,500+ from 12:00-2:00) with my parents, and the party THRILLED my heart. So many different types of people, different ages ALL of 1 mind and 1 accord. When God was mentioned no one was offened or ashamed but all cheered and gave honor. There was no hate but lots of wisdom and insight from young children, young adults and adults in the middle of life and adults who have been there and done that and know what they are talking about!

I have some encouraging words to share with you all my dear sisters in Christ, and am looking forward to visiting and checking in with you all. This was an important "Bird" Housekeeping matter that required tending to first!

There were a couple of times that when we sang "America, America God shed His grace on thee...and crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea..." and when we prayed that I had a flash that God was pleased, that we were taking steps in the right direction and it made my heart happy!

Whether America shines or falls, God's people must trust in Him, look to Him, put our hope in Him. The Word is filled with accounts of Nations falling or pulling back from the brink, in either case there is always a remnant that looks to Him and is provided for even in the midst of trials.

If you would like to know more about where I have been dabbling check out Minorcan Maven. I will be around to visit over the weekend and catch up with ya'll! Some of the posts I have written there explain what I am speaking about better.

"if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." II Chronicles 7:14