Steps, Steps, Waiting and Mysteries!

So many things to share, but the Lord orders our steps, Amen? For quite a while it was looking pretty obvious something needed to change in our finances, and to change in a successful manner...that's the tricky part because there were a lot of almost successes that just never got off the ground. AND even more intriguing (in retrospect, not during the torment of waiting) was the waiting, the delays, the TORMENT of celebration, and thinking we had attained the goal of our faith, only to find out...nope...not yet. DELAYS.

God knows us best, and He knew we were all very comfortable and use to me being at home much of the time. He KNEW we weren't use to or ready for the invasion of employment, where you surrender your plans to the work schedule. So He prepared us over a period of time, and circumstances. From July until the week before Christmas it was a dance of finding the right job for me and for our family and for our unique transportation circumstances. It was: "I have one, no I don't, I have one, no I don't, I have one, no I don't". (don't ask - not worth going into, and was OOOOOOOHHH so VERY trying!) Not to be lost in all this was a similar dance with my husband's situation in his career. A special position was being crafted to fill a need for our community, that he was uniquely qualified and favored to fill. A true blessing of God. The path this blessing took paralleled my part time employment path, along with waiting, celebrations, delays, and MORE WAITING! :)

It was so obviously spiritual in nature -this path we were on. And I was one UNgracious waiter, let me tell you. I was by turns happy, distraught, ready to fight, but not knowing who, quietly waiting and then over time I turned more dociley into the arms of the Lord and as I did I was encouraged that though I didn't understand, my job was to be thankful, praise Him, and BELIEVE, ONLY BELIEVE, and always in every way DELIGHT myself in Him. Waiting from July to December wouldn't seem like so long, but you can go back to April, in 2008 when Hubs broke his arm, and see the path we were on, which led us to this very trying time. Really, everything was in the making and in progress for this crazy waiting period, and just culminated in the past 6 months. Chinese Water Torture...that's the phrase that comes to mind.

What I left out of my yo-yo emotions was cynicism, bitterness, and just a general wonder at who I was feeling and sounding like at times. Did I mention this WAS during the time of my youngest son being out of church for 1 year and 2 weeks? Did I mention that this was during the time of...well you get the picture...we all have our circumstances that we live through and by the Gentle and Merciful Grace of God we Overcome, We are Refined, We are made to shine, because there is now much more of Him in us!

In every dilemma we faced, The Lord FAITHFULLY provided. We never went under, we might have struggled to believe we would make it. Sure. Was it always pleasant? Heck no. Did I have to learn to be assertive to the little nagging voice in my head? Yes I did. Come worrisome thoughts, then would come a song out my mouth praising God. I didn't have to feel it, ONLY BELIEVE. Believe in Him, Believe in Jesus as my covering, as my sufficiency, our Champion, KNOW that He was up to and is ALWAYS up to good on our behalf!

As my focus improved, my outlook (imagine that) improved. When I spent more time looking at Jesus, thinking on Him, and less time making lists of things we needed to do, and possible solutions, day by day the answers came. Not in my time. But, in His time! And guess what? His timing really WAS perfect! :)

Today as I write this, I am aware that He taught me things I couldn't have LEARNED, truly LEARNED any other way than in the mystery of waiting. NO ONE can take away what He has taught me, and my family during this time. We actually lived through a brief period of my husband and son having more hope and sunnier faith than me! It was good for us all, and prepared us for this season. I pray that I won't forget these things. Some treasures I learned I am more adept at walking out than others, but I also know that I am weak and He is strong and I might yet need reminding.

Today, all the things we were waiting for have come to fulfillment, plus more besides, and there is a growing sense that this is only the smaller half of it!

Somethings I know today: 1) The Lord IS my Shepherd and most importantly to my mother's heart - my sons' Shepherd. He will NOT fail to Shepherd my sons. 2) The Lord is our Provider. Not our employers. Not overtime. Not anything or anyone. Just Him. 3) Our employment is about where He needs us to be for a purpose and a period of time. 4) FOCUS on Jesus! Remember Peter? His desire wasn't to walk on water - it was to be with Jesus! 5) Praise Him! Thank Him! Always! Every day!

I just wanted to testify a little about my absences over the past year, so you could see into our lives a little, and I hope, be encouraged. He will never, never fail you!

When Your Call Comes - Shaving!

I have been ever so blessed by beginning a reading plan on January 15th for reading through the Bible in a year. Do you know that as much as I LOVE to study the Word, and get little and big treasures out of it, and to have wisdom imparted to me for being a more effective servant in everyday life, I have never completed such a plan? I only started my first attempt last year. I was really enjoying it and it got me out of a bit of a rut I was in. Once my wheels got turning though, I was off "chasing butterflies" in the Word. But this year over at Karen's blog, Surviving Motherhood, when she mentioned a plan she had used, it just clicked for me. This time I believe I have the grace to complete the plan. I like this one the most, because it is chronological, and I have always been interested in reading in that order.

Anywho, as I was studying Joseph's life during the read through Genesis, something I have studied more than a few times, I came across a phrase that just seemed to "pop" for me. I felt immediately like sharing it here.

The Set Up: We all know that Joseph suffered much painful, egregious and harsh injustice from age 17 for a period of about 13 years. We know that the scriptures tell us that he enjoyed success and favor, in all that he did, as a slave, and as a slave accused of rape and tossed into prison - still favor and success, still the presence of the Lord with him always. However, false accusation, slavery, imprisonment - the sting, the loneliness, the injustice were not evaporated. No, those feelings were something Joseph most likely had to daily render unto God, as he took up his cross and followed Him.

The Promise: Joseph had been given a promise and it called to him, it simmered at times, it gave him hope, hope for a future, hope for good, hope for a life of liberty, peace, restoration, and kingdom authority. There came a day about 11 years into his dark period where he gave the interpretation of a dream for each of two fellow prisoners. One of the men would be restored to his rightful place in service to the King. He asked for the man to remember him. The man forgot him instead. Two more years went by.

The Call Came! "14 Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they brought him hastily out of the dungeon: and he shaved himself, and changed his raiment, and came in unto Pharaoh." I don't know if I can explain why this excited me so, I am not even sure I know why it excited me so. But, it did, and does. And I really immediately wanted to share it here. The idea that we can wait and wait in seeming obscurity. But, to the eyes of God we are not obscure. It seems like the years are ticking by and our "chance" has been devoured by the enemy, but it hasn't, because God has a perfect time!

One Day: One day our call will come, our child's call will come, our spouse's call will come, and when it does, we want to be clean shaven, dressed appropriately and ready to stand and serve in the manner which God's perfect clock work has been moving us towards, inch by precious inch, day by grinding day. We are made to shine! We are made to come forth like silver - smooth, shiny and serviceable!

Joseph's day came and he was never a prisoner or slave again. He served in the way God had uniquely prepared and placed him to serve., and it saved all of his entire family, all of Egypt and many peoples surrounding Egypt. Exceedingly, abundantly beyond ALL that we could ask, think or imagine! Our Father loves us too much and is entirely too wise by far, to give us the authority and influence our hearts tell us await us, until we can handle the power and influence without being overtaken in the sins of pride, fear, lust, and a myriad of others. And that takes preparation. That takes refining. Strengthening. Chiseling off the superficial layers of what you thought was your faith, until all that remains gives glory to God! And when it does, the fires of hell can't burn it, the waters of the ocean can't drown it, the winds of the storms of life can't snatch it away from you. He IS the author and the finisher of our faith!

Shave & change clothes! When the call comes make sure you are groomed and dressed for it! Make sure you have your stuff ready and waiting! If you need an outfit for that interview, if you need money set aside for that trip, or maybe that passport, or that wedding present for a child, or a degree for a job, or the house painted ready to sell it - get it ready for your call! Pray, be with God, believe and do your everyday part. And tell me when you get your call!